


gone

by buttercupp



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff....but No Comfort, Dissociation, Fluff, Leia Isn't So Oblivious, M/M, POV Third Person Limited, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Needs More Than A Hug, Poe Really Needs To Be Honest, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 04:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15135236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttercupp/pseuds/buttercupp
Summary: Where Poe comes back from a mission and can't feel





	gone

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry i suck at summaries

When Poe's two month long mission was over he felt something but, wasn't quite sure what it was. He had been gone from the base with all his friends and Finn, he missed them.

He missed them.  
He had to have.

When he stepped out of his ship he immediately felt Rey and Rose's throwing their arms around him, exclaming how much they missed him, how they were worried, and "Thank the force you're back.".

He didn't think he felt anything.

Probably just shock, adrenaline.

"I missed you guys too!" Finn said gripping onto them both just hoping to sense something, anything.

"Where's Finn?" Poe asked, pulling back from the two with a grin on his face.

 _I need to see Finn. I need to see Finn._  "I dont know," That was from Rey, at least he thinks so. _I missed them. Why am I not happy to see them?_ "Maybe exercising?" From Rose, he's sure.

"Somebody will let him know you're here." One of them said.

"Okay let's go grab some food? Then I'mma go shower." He chuckled.

It didn't feel like his laugh.

During the three's dinner, Poe's laughs didn't feel like his, his breathing wasn't his, he wasn't him.

It didn't feel real.

But that was twenty minutes and eight seconds ago. Poe was counting, in their room, lying on his back.

He just needed to see Finn. He was waiting.  
Too make sure he could do it.

Poe pushed himself against a foggy weight keeping him down on the bed.

He slowly pulled his clothes off of him, one by one, and got into the shower that had been running since he cut it on after entering the room.

Surprisingly, the water was still warm, like slightly above room temperature warm. It just made that weird feeling he had worse.

Poe didn't stay in long, just did what he had to do.

He stepped out and wrapped the towel around his waist and he wanted to look for clothes but still, nothing felt right.

So Poe sat on the bed, trying to breath correctly. Trying to blink correctly.  
But it didn't feel right.  
The weight was still there.

Poe jumped as the door quickly opened and slammed shut.

"Poe?" He heard, then more weight on his body, and softness on his back. "I missed you so much! I'm so sorry I couldn't get here faster people kept holding me up and-" Poe stopped listening to the voice speaking into his neck.

 _Finn._ Poe thought.

Something is wrong.  
He can't do it.  
He doesn't fee-

Poe opened his eyes and wondered how he got onto his back. "I-I missed you too." Poe struggled to put on that grin again, but he couldn't. He could only give a soft smile.

Finn lifted himself up with a smile on his face. "Kriff," he said and put his hands on Poe's scruffy jawline. "I forgot how amazing you look."

Poe gazed up at Finn.  
He felt himself paying attention to that feeling again.

He lost his smile.  
He was looking through Finn now.

"Hey, are you alright?" Poe heard Finn ask and his attention was slowly brought back.

"Fine, yeah."

He meant to say 'Yeah I'm fine.' But that works too.

"Are you sure? You seem kinda out of it." Poe heard Finn say, concern lacing his voice.

Feigning emotion is hard.

Poe grinned. "Yeah I just, I just can't believe I'm back." He slightly lifted his body and took Finn's lips in a soft kiss.

Poe didn't feel anything, even with Finn there, kissing him. He was still feeling that feeling. Something had to be wrong.

But he kept quiet.


End file.
